I have talked about the importance for developing trust. From Jeff Beals’ 5 steps to Margie Warrell’s 3 core domains of Trust .
In one of those article I mentioned that trust is reciprocal. What I mean by that is, you have to trust others first for them to trust you.
Or another way of looking at it is, if you don’t trust me, I won’t trust you.
We have all met at least one person that says “I never trust anyone”. Maybe they are risk averse or maybe they have been really burned trusting the wrong person. People are selfish, they don’t care about your reasons, what they think is, “this person really just wants the best deal for themselves and wouldn’t think twice about taking advantage of me”.
So If you don’t trust me, I defiantly wont trust you. Since there is no trust, everything we both say will be misinterpreted. Once that starts, then everything we both say is guarded to reduce what is used against us. Every word is hedged to make sure we don’t get caught. We can’t be open. With lots of unclear communication, we don’t really know what each other wants. And that’s what we each end up with, something we don’t really want.
By trusting someone from the start, you are saying, I approve of you, I like you. People love approval, to know they are ok, to know they are understood, to be liked. When people know you like them, they like you in return. This reciprocal approval is the foundation for all successful relationships. You cannot build trust without a relationship. You cannot do good deals without trust.
Robert Chen shares the benefits of trust:
- More influential
- Clients share more valuable information
- You avoid big problems, people will share problems earlier
- You are more effective at solving problems with good information
- More effective in negotiations.
I have found these to be spot on. In that article, Robert also gives 101 practical ways to build trust these which I highly recommend. I see some on the list I need to work on.
But Craig, it’s risky to trust others. I might get burned!
Yes you might. And if the first impression you give someone is, “I don’t trust people”, then they won’t trust you and you have just increased the likelihood that you will get burned.
Trust is so hard to establish, why wouldn’t you start there? Why hold people at arm’s length? Why make things harder on yourself? Why make it harder to do business, to reach your goals?
Trust is essential for social and economic transactions. You need people to trust you if you want to sell your products or service. Building that trust starts by first trusting others. You can’t harvest without first planting. Sow trust with every interaction.
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